Managing Your Anger

When I was younger my family used to travel and take vacations in the mountains. I remember as a child being fascinated with the idea that construction crews used explosives to blow holes through many of the mountains in order to create a path for my family to drive through. Driving through the middle of them was much easier than going up and over them. Those explosive devices were used to help me and my family get from point A to point B more quickly and effectively, but the same ingredients are often used around the world to bring devastation and destruction. 

To me, this is a perfect picture of anger. I once heard anger referred to as "Love in action." Anger brings about a passion to protect the things and people we love. Indeed, when we love the right things, anger can be a good thing. It's good to be mad about injustice and poverty and abuse. It's good to be mad all the brokenness, corruption, and wrongdoings in the world. The Bible bears out that God Himself is angry about these things. I believe that righteous anger can actually be a tool, which God uses to get his will done in the earth. 

But anger also has a dark side to it. We see it every day. We have all seen families torn apart, nations broken, relationships shattered, and lives lost all because of anger. When you point your anger at the wrong thing or, to put it another way, when you love the wrong thing too much, anger can go bad very quickly. You love your reputation, so you lash out at anyone you perceive to be a threat to it. The teenage boy loves his freedom and independence, so he screams at his mother who simply requests that he take out the trash. Loving the wrong things too much causes us to lash out and hurt those around us - eventually destroying them and ourselves in the process.  

So what is the solution to all of this? The Bible's solution seems to be this - Manage your anger through the help of the Holy Spirit. In a sermon entitled, "Healing Anger," pastor and author, Timothy Keller lays out a few steps we can take to deal with anger. Below are some of his points mixed in with a few ideas I have added. How do we deal with our anger?

1. Admit that you are angry. The longer you let it sit and brew inside of you, the stronger it will get. Admitting it starts a conversation with the individual you are angry with. Once the conversation starts you have the opportunity to honestly work through it in a constructive way. Don't deny it; admit it. 

2. Analyze your anger. Why are you angry? What is it that you love that you are trying to protect? Is it really worth it? Most of us, if we are honest, get angry for self-centered reasons. A good honest self-assessment will go a long way in stopping a lot of damage. 

3. Act on your anger in right way, at the right time, towards the right thing. The Bible tells us to "Be angry and sin not." It also reminds us that we should be "slow to anger." There is a right time and place for our anger and there are things we should be angry about. For many of us, when we get angry we attack people instead of problems. The goal of godly, righteous anger is always the good and growth of those involved. When we lash out and yell at someone or demean them, our goal is often that WE would feel better. Before you act ask yourself - What's my goal here? Do I really care about this individual? Do I really want to help them? Or do I just want to lash out at them and harm them?

As Christians, particularly in our current world, we do well to learn how to manage our anger and point it in the right direction. Doing so will bring great gains for the kingdom of God. Failure to do so will bring more destruction and brokenness. Let's manage our anger well and be a part of the solution.