Three Things Parents Should Stop Doing - Part 3



Imagine with me that your family just adopted a golden retriever puppy. In preparation for his arrival, you purchase one of those invisible electric fences. After all, you want your dog to stay within the safe confines of your yard. 

You install the fence, bring fido home, and put the electric fence collar on him. He goes out into your yard and upon hitting the boundary, gets shocked. He does this a few times but soon learns where the fence is and where he is allowed to go.

As evening falls, you bring fido in for the night and you begin to think to yourself - "that fence is really in the wrong place. It needs to be closer to the house." So you go outside and move the fence ten feet closer to your house. 

Fido goes out the next morning, expecting the boundaries to be where they were yesterday, only to find that the fence has been moved. 

Imagine this fence gets moved on fido every evening. Each morning he wakes up to discover the fence in a new place. He never knows just where it will be. 

Fido will eventually do one of two things - He will either cower in fear and refuse to leave the front porch, or he will grow immune to the shock collar and completely ignore the fence. 

Ok, I know all of this sounds weird and you're wondering what this dog and this brutal owner have to do with parenting, but hear me out. 

As parents, we can be guilty of doing this to our children. 

We are inconsistent. 

We say one thing, then wake up the next morning and change our mind. We set the boundary in one place, then move it whenever we feel like it. 

We say we are one person and our children are to expect one type of behavior from us, only to give them something different. 

This leaves our children confused - and like this dog, they either cower in fear, afraid of what is coming, or they completely ignore our boundaries and rebel. 

I hope you get the analogy. 

When parents are inconsistent it leaves their children confused. 

Too many parents are inconsistent in their discipline, their faith, and other important areas of their lives. 

You cannot expect your children to grow up to be consistent when you live a life that is blown around like a leaf in the wind. 

How can you be more consistent?

1. When you say something, keep your word. Don't tell them you're going to ground them for a week and let them off the next day. 

2. When you commit to something, stay with it. Do you want your kids to be committed to Jesus? How committed are you? Can your children see this or do they see glaring inconsistencies between what you say at church and who you are at home?

BE CONSISTENT

What I am not saying here is that parents need to be perfect. Let your kids see you with all your flaws and issues. 

 MUCH OF OUR INCONSISTENCY COMES FROM OUR DESIRE TO HIDE OUR IMPERFECTIONS. We think we are hiding them, but everyone knows they are there. Why not admit it to our faults and failures and allow our kids to see us working through them?

 We live in a world that is constantly changing. Your children don't need you to join in that madness, they need you to be an example of consistency. 

STOP BEING INCONSISTENT and START BEING CONSISTENT. 

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